A few years back, while still an undergraduate at Cornell, I struggled with the very real necessity to tell my fraternity brothers I was gay.  The angst I felt has been documented since in a book entitled Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities.  The editor of this important work is none other than Shane Windmeyer, a very prominent figure in the realm of gay fraternity issues.  It was with the help of the very powerful and important online resource Shane helped create, lambda10.org, that I and many other closeted gay fraternity men and women were able to build up the courage to come out and serve as leaders in our Greek communities.  Here, Shane speaks frankly with me about his reasons, inspirations, and visions for the gay Greek Community as a whole.

MD: Shane, tell us a bit about your background?

SW: I was born and raised in a small farm community of Hiawatha, Kansas.  I was the first grandchild and son to go to college. I went to Emporia State University where I got my Bachelor’s Degree in Communication and went on to get my master’s degree at Indiana University in Higher Education Administration. While receiving my master’s degree I developed the Lambda 10 Project and began writing my first book OUT ON FRATERNITY ROW. The rest as they say is history.

MD: Where was your undergraduate and fraternity experience?  How was it?

SW: I never wanted to join a fraternity. I went to college at Emporia State University. After my first year on campus, I met some great guys in a fraternity called Phi Delta Theta.  I was very much in denial about my sexuality.  The fraternity was a way to be accepted to be normal. I always had indications that I might be gay but kept them buried deeply.  The fraternity offered me the opportunity to find myself and become comfortable with who I was.  I came out very strategically at first, only coming out to brothers I was close to and I knew would understand. Luckily my brothers were very supportive when I came out.  So much so that I dedicated my first book to them and I shared my story of coming out in OUT ON FRATERNITY ROW.

MD: Were there any negative experiences after coming out?

SW: Yes, there was one individual in particular, although I don’t really like to talk about him.  Since most of my experiences were generally positive, I have always felt, in my life, it was better to only focus on those things that are positive and make me better.  If you focus on the negative experience, they keep us from growing.  Also, he had very little impact on me.  Although he became president of my fraternity, by then I was already well, established, having come out two years earlier. He had the attitude of “be gay but don’t talk about it!”  His issues were just based on jealousy, a lack of understanding, and homophobia.  Everyone has negative experiences, of course, but in my case he had very little impact on my life.

MD: Has there been any interaction since then with those fraternity brothers? 

SW: Well, this is very interesting actually.  I go around the country and give talks on LGBT issues in the Greek community.  I was called back to speak at Washburn a few years back, which was near Emporia State.  Although by that point I didn’t really know any undergrads in the house, several came up to here me speak and several of my brothers while I was there came by as well.  They even invited me back to speak at their homecoming formal to speak about brotherhood and my book.  I even found out that they were rushing an openly gay student at the time.

MD: What is lambda10?

SW: The Lambda 10 Project - National Clearinghouse for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Fraternity & Sorority Issues works to heighten the visibility of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender members of the college fraternity by serving as a clearinghouse for educational resources and educational materials related to sexual orientation and gender identity/expression as it pertains to the fraternity/sorority experience.

Lambda 10 Project was founded in the Fall of 1995 at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana where it is currently housed in the Office of Student Ethics and Anti-harassment Programs.   Lambda 10 is also an associate member of the Association of Fraternity Advisors and serves as a resource for many inter/national fraternity/sorority leaders.    The Project created the first educational resources solely dedicated to this topic titled Out on Fraternity Row: Personal Accounts of Being Gay in a College Fraternity released by Alyson Publications, Inc in 1998, Secret Sisters: Stories of Being Lesbian & Bisexual in a College Sorority released by Alyson Publications, Inc. in 2001 and recently Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities released by Alyson Publications, Inc. in October 2005. Click here to find out more.

MD: What made you help to develop lamba10 in the first place?

SW: My positive experience from my straight fraternity brothers and the realization that I was not alone.  I wanted others to know that too.

MD: How did lambda10 start and how far has it come since its inception?

SW: Ten years ago, the doors of fraternity and sorority closets weren’t just shut, they were dead bolted — and if anyone knew where the keys were, they weren’t talking.

Fast-forward to today. No less than 18 national fraternities and sororities have added sexual orientation to their nondiscrimination statements. More and more students are coming out, and a small but growing number are rushing openly gay, with varying degrees of acceptance. Increasing numbers of fraternities, sororities and college campuses are getting educated on issues of sexual orientation.  Click here for more info.

MD: How much work do you and lambda10 actually do with International Fraternities and Sororities?  How much collaboration is your ultimate goal?

SW: We have worked with over a dozen inter/national fraternities and sororities develop educational tools and resources for their particular membership. We have advised over 50.  Gradually we are becoming more of a resource for international organizations; however, our primary targets are being accessible to LGBT and Ally college fraternity and sorority leaders and the professional advisors who work with those students.  We have had a tremendous impact on this front over the last ten years from the Who’s Out List to the Anti-Homophobia Fraternity & Sorority Guide. Our most recent initiative is a Trans Guide for Fraternities and Sororities due out next year.

MD: How are you and lambda10 handling or combating homophobia?

SW: Going to campuses and doing trainings, workshops and speaking engagements.  (over 500+ campuses to date). Providing education resources and books to initiate dialogue. Online presence through the Who’s Out initiative and other worthwhile online stories, resources on “What to Do if you Learn a Brother/Sister is Gay?, etc.

MD: Is there anything you are trying to improve about lambda10.org?

SW: Oh yes, a few things we are all very excited about.  First, in a sort of celebration of our ten year anniversary (1995 – 2005) we have just added a transgender aspect to the site.  This is basically a Transgender Guide which is designed to be helpful to trans members.  We have worked to develop this guide by talking and working with various trans members in the Greek community.  A second development is a new focus on research, research anyone can track or contribute to on gaygreeks.org.  Ever since Doug Case’s 1995 survey out of Penn State, we have known actively that the LGBT Green experience is real.  Now, we wish to build a strategy based on this survey and conduct more on our own, to develop the first national fraternity and sorority experience.  We also wish to learn more about Multicultural Greek Letter Organizations (MGLC) and their LGBT members as well as their experiences.  And finally, we wish to serve a greater role as a resource and in out reach to strait allies.  A very important aspect of our efforts.

MD: I personally loved the “Who’s Out?” listing on your site which gives a pretty massive account of LGBT Greek members.  What made you come up with that listing and has it proven useful?

SW: Well, originally, our biggest hurdle was overcoming the very real idea among National Fraternities and Sororities that there were no LGBT members or that their numbers were negligible.  So the list was useful because it forced Nationals to acknowledge that their members were gay.  Initially, it was difficult to accomplish: the site was static and each time a new person replied, I needed to go on and type them in myself.  Now, the technology is dynamic and self-sufficient. 

Also, along with our sister site, campuspride.net, we hope to improve on this aspect as well.  There we have a “Dean’s list” of strait allies LGBT members. We want to merge that function so we can do more exciting things like eventually allow members to search by fraternity and state. Maybe we can create gay fraternity blogs.

MD: Your first book on Greek Issues, Out on Fraternity Row back in 1998 is said to have broken much needed ground?  What do you think was its initial and subsequent impact of the book?

SW: It knocked down the closet door.  Until that book came out, the fraternity world virtually ignored the fact that there were indeed gay men in fraternities.  That book said, “We’re Here. We’re Queer and we’re your fraternity brother.”   Secret Sisters did the same for sorority women three years later in 2001.   As a result, many closeted and out LGB Greeks have used the books as tools and as inspiration to tell their story and to come out to their fraternities and sororities. The impact has been beyond my imagination. The ripple effect continues to grow.

MD: Since then you have collaborated on many such books such as Secret Sisters and most recently, Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities.  How much has changed in between these projects?

SW: I would say that the fraternity world moves slowly. But on this issue we have moved at lightning speed in comparison to visibility, awareness and education.  Each of the book pushes the envelope further and further… reminding the fraternity world that we are still here and still queer.   I think Brotherhood offers a ten year, fresh perspective on the challenges, the taboos that still remain alive in the college fraternity as well as recognizes the progress of how far we have come.

Click here for more info.

MD: What impact do you expect from Brotherhood?

SW: Increased dialogue on the issue in a more complex manner.. such as ,a broader understanding of the harms of hazing as it relates to homophobia,  a better definition of brotherhood being that of an ally as well as recognize that more and more men are rushing openly gay… Brotherhood is kind of a KICK IN THE BUTT to remind folks that we are not there yet…. And we have many taboo issues that need to be addressed…  Already BROTHERHOOD has done just that….

You can learn more about Shane Windmeyer and the lambda10 project by going to lambda10.org or by reading any of his recent books such as Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities or the upcoming Advocate College Guide for LGBT schools (Top 100 Gay Campuses.)